listening to "let me go" by seether

this isnt worth it. they arent my friends anymore.. so why shld i cry over things that they say?
but i cant help it. they are all enjoying themselves while i suffer.
i want to leave this country. i want to do something so big that they can see im not suffering but actually succeeding.

i shldnt have read her fucking blog. FUCK YOU RACHEL GOH LI SI. I FUCKING REMEMBER YOUR NAME AND EVERY OTHER FUCKING THING.

What do u mean by jrock reject whatever shit u were talking about? FUCK YOU. WHO FUCKIN TAUGHT YOU ABOUT JROCK? WHO GOT YOU INTO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

and since when did u learn to use the word "fuck"? WHEN?
and playing the keyboard? who lent it to u in the first place? WHO FUCKING LENT YOU?

FUCK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE.

im outta here.

listening to "monday morning 5:19" by Rialto

just watched the movie "saved". good movie... although it mocks the christians.. it doesnt really offend.. it makes me laugh.. makes me wonder why i'd want to go back to church in the first place..? ar well..

anyway, i cant sleep... havent been sleeping well ever since assessment last term. i think i need help. and ive noticed my habit of counting the hours i sleep every night.. not good. i noe i get less than 5 hours of sleep a day but im not even trying to help myself. not good not good not good.

anyway, im typing this with one eye closed... i dunno why. haha.
madness.

i feel tired... but im not gonna sleep. nope.. nope nope nope nope.

i shld probably call the mental health hotline huh? haha... blah.

listening to "bitter sweet symphony" by the verve

just watched Philadelphia..

amazing.. just amazing. this is one of the most heart breaking movie ive ever watched. it makes u tear up early in the show and then for the last half an hour at the end of the movie. i absolutely love tom hanks in the movie... he did the most wonderful job playing andrew beckett. i cant stop feeling so sad.. i wanted to watch this movie so bad after reading the movie-novel... u shld too.

ah.. anyway, today (or rather ytd), i went out with my sis and my aunt.. bot philadelphia from hmv at just 7+ bucks. imagine tt. and i also bot c.r.a.z.y from gramaphone.. eventhough ive already watched it cos i love it so much. yea.. other than that, not much happened today.. cept for that most wonderful movie. sigh..

i hope all you ppl wld watch it.. esp all the ones with the homophobic hatred. tsk.

gays rule!

listening to "The lion sleeps tonight (wimoweh)" by the Tokens.

o gosh. went to vivocity today... GAWD ITS BIG! haha.. looks like fun but its just too crowded and not all the shops are open yet.. so i feel kinda dissappointed. blah. although they made parts outside that looked like cruise ship decks.. haha.. what fun. ill go back when its more complete.

finally stepped into GAP! gosh.. ive been waiting for Gap to open here so i can get jeans.. cos in the online shop they sell up to really big sizes.. and you noe... im one of those FAT ppl.. :( but i was so sad when the lady said the cargo shorts didnt come in sizes bigger than 36. gosh. stupidstupidstupid.. guess ill just purchase from online or something. or mayb the jeans have bigger sizes? i shld have asked..

anyway, went to pull and bear as well.. wonderful.. but expensive!! o man.. and i still want those puma shoes... :) but gotta save money.. how? i gotz no money. bleah.. i have to go get Q, 20th anniversary issue!! WHAT IF ALL THE BOWIE COVER ONES ARE GONE??? HUH?

sigh.. so many things to buy, no cash and no work i wanna get myself to do. blah.

listening to "welcome to the black parade" by My chemical romance. (yea yea.. so what if i like them?)

i just read the ending of 'philadelphia' by christopher davis (based on the screenplay by ron nyswaner) for the fourth time. makes me so fucking depressed... its just too sad.. i wish i cld watch the movie.. but i cant find it.. :(

anyway, watched '9 dead gay guys' and 'A Hard Day's night'. hilarious!

i espacially loved 'a hard day's night' because the beatles are just too cute! and ringo~~! XD woot! it doesnt have much of a plotline and sometimes the acting's really something to laugh at but so what? that's what makes the film amazing to watch! and its just hilarious and whats more to ask with the singing and not to mention ringo's much more appreciated in there! He's so cute when he sulks!!! XD

ahaha.. *breathes* *grins*

anyway, going for innovation nation tmr. :D and then going shopping with shufen. but i dont have cash.. so we'll see..

o yea, i forgot.. my dad cooked bacon macaroni and cheese casserole for dinner just now. wonderful~ :)

yep.. tts it i guess.. feel bloody depressed... must watch more movies. (the departed and the prestige!!)

listening to "unholy confessions" by A7x

I FUCKING HATE KOREAN DRAMAS. i fucking do.

fuck.

listening to "go west" by pet shop boys..

went to geylang serai today with my sis and shu fen. fun but extremely hot and makes us smell funny~ haha..

nothing much. did my resubmission today and left it on francis' table. -_-

ar well... blah. watched 3 quarter of 'lost boys' just now.. not sure what happened to the rest of the movie.. must have been cut off or something while the person loaded it.. boo.

anyway, its finally the hols. someone call me and talk to me.. please.

listening to "home and dry" by Pet shop boys.

stayed over at fen's house last night. had my assessments before that.. it sucked. i basically bawled my eyes out after my presentation. i fucking hate my lecturers. i'll never trust them ever again. never.

so i needed to escape.. left to orchard after that.. met my sis and then shufen came out arnd 9 plus so we decided to go catch 'Little miss sunshine' before we went back to her place at arnd 2am. we stayed up and watched 'bullet in a bible' which is greenday's concert movie. and then went to bed at 4am.. i was thinking about a lot of things while sleeping between fen and my sis on fen's bed.

after that, woke up in the morning and watched silent hill before skate-boarding arnd and playing darts on her porch. then we came home.. put on 'charlie and the chocolate factory' while i tried to do my re-submission piece and eat dinner.

and i fell asleep.

and now, i just watched 'cry baby' and 'a home at the end of the world'... which made me cry...

all these movies.. man.. i had a good two days. cept for the submission/presentation part.

hm.. 'little miss sunshine' is not to be missed! tts for sure.. its absolutely wonderful.. so is 'cry baby' and 'a home at the end of the world'... 'bullet in a bible' makes me remember the times when i was crazy over bands such as greenday and blink182. haha... but all's well..

'a home at the end of the world' is really a sweet and intimate piece of indie art film/flick... i dunno.. it amazes me.. and i love movies with a great soundtrack so its my fav of the lot. :) i cried after the movie ended.. its just so amazingly sweet and sorrowful.

sigh.. i think i have too much on my mind now..

listening to "draw me close" by Kutless..

shit.. this song makes me wanna go back to church. bleah..

anyway, got my book sorted and bound yesterday.. just a couple more finishing touches and my book will be done~

gonna go off to sch to get stuff printed and scanned soon. sigh.. i hate assessments. blah. what i hate more are presentations. shit man.. how to present tomorrow... erggg... blech. pooey. :(

lets just see how it goes.. im suffering here and my sis is at the zoo enjoying herself! haha! owell...

listening to "love will tear us apart" by joy division

woohoo~ this song makes me feel happy~~~

blah.. but im not. practically stressed out of my skull this past few weeks... my photobook is coming along now.. just need to print three more prints then add the final touches and print outs then i can send for bind~ :D

two more days to assessment... shit.. dunno if i have time.. better get everything printed and done. ARGGGGGGGGG.

feel like watching velvet goldmine again... cos i just glanced across the poster i did for last yr.. lol.. sigh.

blah. writer's block. haha.